The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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