You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
When are your genitals available?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
