That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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