I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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