If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
