he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
