I hate all girls vehemently.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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