i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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