i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize