I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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