I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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