I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This baby is an asshole
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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