According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
