after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
