and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
