Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...

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(972): View more from Texas

They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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(229): View more from Georgia

If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.

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(917): View more from New York City

it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome

(1-917): View more from New York City

second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?

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(952): View more from Minnesota

So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...

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