I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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