yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
