yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
