So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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