Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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