Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
