i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
