If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
