i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize