So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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