I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
