Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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