wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
