How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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