you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize