my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
