my phone cant type all the emotion im having
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
