those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
