they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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