AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
