did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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