like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize