Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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