Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
