ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
