My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm at about main and main street
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
