help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
