So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
