there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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