can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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