I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
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I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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