I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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