I want to have your abortion
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
