Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
