Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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