Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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