Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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