Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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