You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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