i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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