I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
