Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
