Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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