Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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