do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
