i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
